How many snow days have we had? I’ve honestly lost count. Being away from doing what I love and staying busy has made me realize that I would be such a terrible stay-at-home mom… These 5 day weeks are going to feel longer than usual after multiple weeks of only 3 school days. However, I am SO ready to be busy again!
There have been so many thoughts running around in this brain of mine. One thing in particular has been the question: I wonder how different the world would be if everyone had the “It happened for me” vs. “It happened to me” mentality? We all experience incredible ups and downs and, being human, it is so very easy to look at the situations in the second way. I feel like when enough time has passed and we are ready to accept that a hardship has occurred to teach us something, it is then when we realize that it happened for me. It’s a process of healing, but it comes in such different stages for each individual. So I understand how it is easy to automatically think the second way, but I wonder if people would be happier if they looked at every situation, bad AND good, in “It happened for me.”
Another thought that has been stewing has been that we really need to teach our kids and ourselves to trust our feelings more. Our feelings and gut instincts are insanely accurate most of the time. They guide us in every direction and help us come to terms with our strengths and weaknesses. For example, when students say, “This is hard” so often teachers say “It’s not that hard” or “You can do it” before acknowledging that the students’ feelings are totally justifiable. I myself have been practicing the skill of admitting to my kiddos, “You’re right, this is hard stuff” before saying “You can do it!” By not acknowledging their feelings of frustration (however frustrated they may be) we are teaching kids and ourselves not to trust their feelings and instincts. Shouldn’t we be doing the opposite? If kids are not comfortable trusting themselves when an event later on in life is hard on them, then it seems like we are teaching them that they are wrong in thinking and feeling a certain way. I know we do not mean any harm in saying “You’re fine” or “You can do it” when they bring up how they are feeling, especially when it is the opposite reaction of what you are looking for. However I think it is important that we continue to take an even closer look at our words and how they could potentially be interpreted.