El Paso Forever In My Heart: Living vs. Existing

Ever since this summer I have been thinking about El Paso on a daily basis. At least a couple of times per day. I still feel the loss of being there and seeing the same people who became my family very quickly. I still feel the loss of being able to see the beautiful mountains when I’m out for a walk or driving. I still feel the loss of receiving hugs on hugs from my youth group. I still feel the loss of being greeted by people with arms wide open and a gentle kiss on the cheek. I still feel the loss of the amazing Mexican food. I still feel the loss of those inspiring and breath-taking views out while hiking. I still feel the loss of it all.

Although I have overcome a depressive state of loss, I think to some extent I will always be grieving and missing everyone. Isn’t it amazing how it’s much easier to open up to people you just meet, and find yourself in a place you’ve never been? It’s just such a beautiful concept that I hope everyone gets to experience at some point.

I have been fortunate enough to still keep in touch with my friends and family who now encompass my heart. I chit-chatted with one last night and had a terrific conversation with her via Skype. I think friends who you meet during meaningful experiences really become a major part of you. You experience so much change and inspiring moments together, as well as the not-so-pretty times. Although we live states and states away, it is such a given that we will always be true friends and connected by our souls. She is just one of the many who became a kindred spirit. I appreciate those who still communicate with me on a regular basis to the highest extent possible. People are wonderful and we can learn so much from them. Most likely, we learn the most from those who are physically present in our life for a temporary amount of time. The brief time really teaches us to appreciate what is given to us when it is presented. It’s a lesson that I carry with me everyday in life. It’s a blessing to know that my friends I met in El Paso have taught me this very valuable lesson. I truly do love them dearly!

El Paso solidified that I must do something, even if teaching does not end up being it, that is giving to all communities for the rest of my life…especially with youth. My heart has always sought out adventures and moments that would allow me to give my heart and words and actions to someone important, or something greater than myself. It is just very freeing to know that following my heart has benefited in finding my purpose in life. Isn’t it interesting how giving yourself and being available to others is the most freeing feeling?

I am very excited for the day when I’m reunited with loved ones in El Paso. Hopefully the day will come sooner than later, and when that day comes I will most likely never stop smiling! Or I’ll cry…one or the other 🙂



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